Skip to main content

A part of us is trying to keep ourselves safe from scary or unfamiliar things to save us from emotional hurt, but in really unhelpful way.  When we notice this, we can change how strongly we react to it.

Valentine’s Day is the main stand-out day in February for celebrating love for others.

It is also Random Acts of Kindness  day during the same week of February.  Doing random, kind things is sweet.  If you can build them up to be consistent and considered habit then that can be even better.
Random Acts of Kindness

We’re encouraged to consider these 5 things when talking to other people, is it:

  • True?
  • Helpful?
  • Inspiring?
  • Necessary?
  • Kind?

We can say the nastiest things to ourselves. We don’t know when these thoughts will pop up. They could be in 3 minutes or in 30.

We usually have go-to favourite lines for berating ourselves that come up again and again. They’re often down to a part of us trying to keep us safe from scary or unfamiliar things to save us from emotional hurt, but in a really unhelpful way. The delivery in itself is causing us hurt.

Try thanking that part of you for trying to keep you safe, but let it know that you now need it behind you or alongside you to have your back because you need to move forward now.

If that doesn’t work well, when these thoughts come up, let’s compassionately acknowledge, “this is hard.
Notice the feelings that are coming up and allow them to be there, rather than trying to push them down or away. If you can’t work out how you feel or struggle to name the emotions try noticing where you feel it in your body.

Breathe slowly and deeply to help slow everything down and ground yourself. Imagine your breath going around the area of discomfort to create cushioning space around where it feels uncomfortable.

Let’s try applying these 5 things and treating ourselves kindly to our own self-talk and see how we do?



Article written by Emma Ross.

Emma is a CCHA tenant. She has worked as a counsellor for Mind for 7 years, and has also worked in GP surgeries for the Cardiff & Vale NHS in Ely and on an Employee Assistance Program. You can find her on social media @WorkSmartLiveHappy


Disclaimer: All opinions and thoughts are solely the author’s, and do not reflect the opinions and beliefs of the website or its affiliates.